It's Just a Nursery Rhyme
by theshadowcat
Summary: Movie Verse Ironhide is living with the Lennox family and learns some nursery rhymes. ONE SHOT!


**Disclaimer**: I don't own them. The closest I can come is the Titanium die-cast Bumblebee sitting on my DVD player. At any rate, I'm not making any money off of this and I will return the characters in good working condition once I'm done playing with them.

**Author's Notes 1**: This story is not associated with my 'I've Been Trucked!' story. As many people have noted, I tend to write in present tense. I do this because it's easier for me. So to set myself a bit of a challenge, I have written this in past tense and hopefully I haven't messed up too badly.

* * *

"So, there it was, this monster robot that had attacked the base walking down the street like it belonged there or something," Will said excitedly as he jumped around the dining room, pantomiming action to his words for his excited audience of one. "The thing had to be thirty, maybe thirty-five feet tall and it was headed right towards Optimus Prime and Megatron. We had to stop that thing and fast. Air support was on its way, but there was no way that they were going to get there on time so it was up to us. I saw an abandoned motorcycle nearby, so I left Sergeant Epps in charge of putting lasers on the target while I went for the bike. So I took the bike and drove away for a bit to get up a good bit of speed up and then I gunned it, dodging cars and people and debris and then at the last minute, I ditched the bike and slid under that…" 

"WILL!"

"Oh, hi, honey," Will greeted from his prone spot on the floor, an innocent grin stretched across his face. "Done with your bath already? Feeling better?"

"What were you doing?" Sarah asked suspiciously. "And I'm feeling fine now, thank you."

"Oh, um, just telling Annie a story," he answered while he got up off of the floor, careful not to look his wife in the eye.

"Oh really?" she questioned, her eyes narrowed. "And what children's story, pray tell, requires the teller to run around the room like a maniac and then go sliding across the floor?"

"Oh…uh…um…," he stammered, trying desperately to come up with a story that wouldn't be an out right lie and wouldn't get him in trouble either.

"William Lennox, you were telling her one of your war stories again, weren't you?" she accused as her fists planted themselves on her hips.

"But she likes them," he protested, gesturing towards their daughter who immediately laughed and clapped at the funny man before her. "See?"

"That's only because she doesn't know any better," she retorted. "But you do! Now please stop telling her those stories. You'll give her nightmares."

"But she doesn't even know what I'm saying," he complained.

"That doesn't make it alright," she shot back as she went over to the small child and pulled her out of her highchair. "Thank you for watching Annie while I took a bath. Now please go rake the yard."

Before he could utter another word, she turned and left the room, child firmly held in her arms. He knew that arguing further would only get him a night on the couch and that she'd cool down quicker if he didn't push the point, so he headed for the garage to get the rake.

The cool autumn air filled the garage as the large door slowly opened up while the morning sun reflected brightly off of the large black truck sitting in the driveway. Will remembered the first time he looked out his kitchen window and saw the monster truck sitting looking completely out of place. After the Autobot requested to come and live with them, life became very interesting indeed. Will was forced to start looking at his world through alien optics and while some of the things he's been forced to acknowledge are scary, still others have been amusing. The only problem with all of the questions is that Will has been the one answering the bulk of them while Sarah has only had to answer a few.

"Good morning, Captain Lennox," a disembodied voice greeted.

"Morning, Ironhide," Will responded as he pulled the rake out from behind the lawn mower. "And I've told you before, you can me Will, you don't have to call me Captain Lennox."

"But you are also Captain Lennox as well as Will," Ironhide pointed out.

"Yes, my subordinates call me Captain Lennox because it's a sign of respect, but my friends and family call me Will," Will replied.

"So your friends and family don't have to show you respect?" Ironhide asked, confusion evident in his voice.

"No, that's not it," Will said as he walked out of the garage with gardening implement in his hand. "It's that because friends and family are more familiar with me, they call me by my first name."

"You know, I still find that you humans feel the need to give yourself multiple names quite confusing," Ironhide stated.

"Well, with over six billion of us on this planet, it's kind of become a necessity," Will pointed out as he started to rake up the leaves.

"What are you doing?" Ironhide inquired after watching the man for a few moments.

"I'm raking up the leaves," Will answered while he continued to drag the device across the grass.

"Why?" Ironhide questioned.

"Because it needs to be done," Will replied.

"But not all of the leaves have fallen off of the tree," Ironhide stated. "Would it not be wiser to wait until all of the leaves have fallen before you rake them up?"

"Yes, but the grass needs the sun and if I leave the leaves on here too long then the grass will die," Will told him.

"Ah," Ironhide said, falling silent for a moment. "Would this not go faster if you used a leaf blower?"

"It would, but leaf blowers are noisy, they pollute and we don't have one," Will stated.

The man was partially frustrated by having to answer all of these questions and ones similar to it day after day, but at the same time, partially amused by being asked by a super advanced robot from space why one rakes up the leaves. Before Ironhide could think of any more questions to ask him, Sarah and Annie came out of the house, a blanket thrown over Sarah's shoulder. Will walked over to them, leaning the rake against the porch railing before taking his daughter into his arms. Sarah strode over to patch of lawn in the sun that's already been raked clean of leaves and laid the blanket out.

"Good morning, Sarah Lennox," Ironhide greeted. "Good morning, Annabelle Lennox."

"Good morning, Ironhide," Sarah replied while she took Annie from Will. "Please just call me Sarah and you can call her Annie."

"I do not wish to be disrespectful," Ironhide responded.

"Ironhide, you've been living with us for nearly a month now," Sarah said as she sat down on the blanket with Annie. "I think it's safe to say that there's no sign of disrespect if you just call us by our first names."

"But Annie is not your sparkling's name," he pointed out while Will went back to raking.

"It's her nickname," she told him as she sat Annie down in front of her, smiling at the Autobot's term for a baby. "Just like 'Hide is short for Ironhide, Annie is short for Annabelle."

"Very well, if that is your wish," the mech conceded.

"It is," she stated with a smile and then turned her attention to her child and started sing.

"_The Itsy Bitsy spider  
Climbed up the water spout;  
Down came the rain  
And washed the spider out;  
Out came the sun  
And dried up all the rain;  
And the Itsy Bitsy spider  
Climbed up the spout again."_

"But why would the spider return to the spot where it had previously been washed out of?" the truck asked and Will barely contained his snicker.

"It's a spider, 'Hide," she patiently explained. "They don't have very big brains."

"_Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man,  
Bake me a cake as fast as you can.  
Roll it, and prick it, and mark it with a "B"  
And put it in the oven for Baby and me!"_

"I was unaware that you could roll cake batter," Ironhide stated, perplexed, causing Will to pause in his raking. "I thought one just poured it into the pan. And would not the nature of the batter make it impossible to mark it with any type of symbol, much less a 'B'?"

"It's just a nursery rhyme, 'Hide," she replied, looking over at the truck. "It's not really meant to make a lot of sense."

"Ah," 'Hide responded and the woman returned her attention to her child while Will quickly started raking again.

"_Hickory, dickory, dock,  
The mouse ran up the clock.  
The clock struck one,  
The mouse ran down!  
Hickory, dickory, dock."_

"Why would the mouse climb up a chiming clock?" he inquired. "Humans do not store food on top of clocks and it would make for a very poor living area."

"It's a mouse," she said. "It doesn't have a very big brain."

"That's what you said about the spider, but mice are much larger than most spiders and one would assume that they would have to be smarter," he countered.

"Well, they kind of are, but they're still not exactly geniuses either," she pointed out. "And it is just a nursery rhyme."

"_Jack, be nimble,  
Jack, be quick,  
Jack, jump over  
The candlestick."_

"Why would Jack jump over a candlestick?" he questioned and Will turned so that his back to them so that they couldn't see him grinning like fool. "Was he wishing to burn himself? Who is this Jack anyways?"

"It's just a nursery rhyme, 'Hide," she stated, her patience starting to thin.

"_Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet,  
Eating her curds and whey;  
Along came a spider,  
Who sat down beside her  
And frightened Miss Muffet away."_

"I do not understand why you human females are so easily upset by such small arachnids," he mused. "You are thousands of times bigger than them, yet you scream at the very sight of them."

"It's just a nursery rhyme, 'Hide," she said and Will could hear the tension in her voice.

"_Twinkle, twinkle, little star,  
How I wonder what you are.  
Up above the world so high,  
Like a diamond in the sky.  
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,  
How I wonder what you are."_

"Stars are mainly made of hydrogen and helium," 'Hide told her.

"Yes, I know, thank you, Ironhide," she replied a bit tersely.

"_A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z/Now I know my ABC's. /Next time won't you sing with me?"_

"Wouldn't one already have to know the alphabet in order to sing that song?" he asked while Will bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"It's just a nursery rhyme, 'Hide," she repeated as she desperately tried to hold onto her calm demeanor.

"_Rock a bye baby, in the treetop/When the wind blows, the cradle will rock/When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall/And down will come baby, cradle and all."_

"Why would a parent put a sparkling up in a tree? In a cradle nonetheless?" Ironhide nearly demanded. "Are they hoping the sparkling will be hurt?"

"It's just a nursery rhyme, Ironhide," she said once more.

"_Hey, diddle, diddle,  
The cat and the fiddle,  
The cow jumped over the moon.  
The little dog laughed  
To see such sport,  
And the dish ran away with the spoon."_

"What would a cat be doing with a fiddle?" he questioned. "It is physically impossible for a bovine to leap the thousands of miles it would require to hurdle the Earth's moon and even if it did not die from asphyxiation while in the vacuum of space, it would certainly burn to death upon reentry into the Earth's atmosphere. Dogs are not..."

"Yes! Thank you, Ironhide," she ground out between clenched teeth while Will just stood there, tears of mirth streamed down his cheeks as he tried to contain his laughter. "It's just a nursery rhyme! I think that's enough fresh air and sunshine for today. Don't you, sweetie?"

With that, she stood up, scooped the child up into her arms grabbed the blanket and marched back into the house without a backwards glance.

"Did I say something wrong?" Ironhide asked and Will couldn't stop himself as he fell to the ground howling with laughter.

* * *

**Author's Notes 2**: So the other day, I'm taking a bath and I can hear my five year old singing 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' in the other room and I got to thinking, what would an Autobot make of the nursery rhymes we sing to our kids? And this is what I came up with. No, I haven't forgotten 'I've Been Trucked!' I'm just a bit stuck in the mud with it right now, but I will update it as soon as I can. I hope you enjoyed and please leave a review. 


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